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June 13, 2021
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A video game tribute to the Feminine

by rahul sehgal on 01/13/16 01:11:00 pm   Featured Blogs

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community.
The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.


A while ago, something terrible happened in India, my home country. A young girl, a student, was brutally raped and mutilated by five men in a moving bus and died of her injuries shortly thereafter. As a nation, it shook us to the core. Many of us realized that there was something fundamentally wrong in the relationship between males and females in our country. Every year, millions of female foetuses are aborted in India because males are preferred; it has led to the odd situation that if you’re going to have a baby, it’s illegal to find out if its a boy or girl.

This world, composed of individuals such as myself, seems to be a cynical, brutal and self-destructive place. When I find myself assigning responsibility for this mess to other individuals, I cannot help but see slivers of the same darkness within. This leads me to examine my life, and further, my work.

I’m a husband and father of three (two human and one canine) and a game designer/developer. Apart from providing for my family, I see my work as a responsibility. I make video games; I also lecture and mentor students at a game dev college. Among the subjects I teach is “Influence of Video Games”. I've had to research this subject in some depth, and it has been a revelation. I worry about the effects of violence in video games and while there are lots of studies and opinions out there, common sense tells me that a human cannot be exposed to simulated violence for prolonged periods without adverse effects.

A disclaimer: I play skill-based games; shooters are my favourite kind of game and I'm a fan of the Halo and Gears of War franchises among others. I also strongly believe in the adage ‘To each, his own’ and think that people (and companies) should be free to create the kind of content they like, as long as it’s rated correctly.

About a year and a half ago, I started working in earnest on a new game concept. In the beginning, I worked on the gameplay and mechanics and once we were a ways into creating it, I started to think about the fiction of the game (the game world, characters, theme).

At this point, my daughter Sitara (means the Morning Star) was born and Shit Got Very Real. She had been born into a misogynist, violent world and it struck me that I couldn't just sit there sharing articles on Facebook.

The most effective tool I possess is my work creating video games. I decided to make a game that would strive to be fun without using violence, battle gender stereotypes and be engaging without deliberately creating addiction through Skinner Box tactics.

I was lucky to be part of a team that supported this direction for our game. We were aware of the consequences of these decisions; we were going against the market. Gratifying violence sells, and a female protagonist in an action game is considered out of place; but then this is exactly what we’re trying to fix.

Bird of Light has taken a year and half to make; for most of this time, we've managed to support ourselves through our part-time teaching jobs, client projects and loans from family. It’s been interesting, to say the least. At one point, you realize that a project born of purpose stops being work and becomes a central part of life; personal and professional challenges start to become indistinguishable. Survival starts to feel like victory and once you've lived like this for a while, the Fear leaves.

The Universe has helped; I’ll give it that. Strangers from across the world appeared, willing to collaborate with us for little or no money. A Romanian composer agreed to do the music. A schoolboy from the Czech Republic who happened to be a video editing wizard, made the trailer. There is a stunning nobility to the community of independent video game developers across the world, connected intimately via social media, cooperatively creating fantastic content.

It seems, however, that the Universe may also want us to market and publish the game by ourselves. Publishers are wary of the theme of the game, particularly the female lead. One asked us outright if we would be willing to change the protagonist to a male; another asked to let players choose between a male and female character. We said No, Tara is a girl, and this is her game. 

And there’s something else in there that we don’t talk too much about- Animals.

The game has a deeper theme that explores our relationship with animals. I have a Labrador Retriever, Flor de Lis , whom I love her with all my heart; she is no lesser a child than my human children. Her presence in my life has brought about tumult in my food habits; this is an ongoing struggle that finds expression in the story of the game.

Bird of Light has turned out well; it is truly a game that we are thrilled to have made. It is unapologetically feminine; the gameplay is multi-layered and reveals itself slowly. I’d be lying if I said that we didn't care about how well the game did in the market. We want lots of people to play it, and to this end we've designed the game to be free-to-play.

Bird of Light is in Beta now; that is, a few people are playing it and giving us feedback as I write this. 

Making a living doing what we love is a rare and awesome super power and one that we have fought hard for; we shall use it wisely.

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